Bachelorette(s) Night Two
Someone should punch Chris Harrison in the face. He told Britt she wasn’t the bachelorette in
the longest way possible. I’ve counted
the roses….the majority of the men have voted…..for one woman...who they hope to
have a future with….and that woman….is not you.
Bro, just tell the girl she didn’t get it. And then he told her it was close. That’s not helping. Now we see the tears that Britt became famous
for. We also get the classic “I’m just
looking for love” and “I thought this was my time”…now I just have “All TheRight Moves” by OneRepublic in my head…
Huh. Apparently when
Chris Harrison is involved, good news travels faster than bad news. Kaitlyn is shocked and delighted to be the bachelorette. Best part: Chris tells her to take a minute
before she goes in because she needs to send some guys home. Her response? “Oh, I still have to do that??”
It was precious.
Kaitlyn calls her mom on speaker phone to tell her that she
got the job of dating 25 men (well…soon to be 15 or so).
Shawn and many others are super excited that Kaitlyn is the
bachelorette. If I’m gonna be honest, I
think that she should just take Shawn and Ian and send the rest home. Ian snags her first (well done) and he is
quickly interrupted. Josh gives Kaitlyn
the rose that he welded. “He was like
all ‘I’m a Maaaann’ and that’s hot.” I think that went over well.
Chris Harrison brought out the first impression rose. Kaitlyn is just ignoring it at this point. Tony,
aka Zen Master, is really confused right now.
Some of the guys are totally pumped that it’s Kaitlyn. Others are having to rethink things because they
voted for the other girl. Jared is an
interesting little fellow. He told
Kaitlyn that he voted for Britt. He
wants her to know that he does still want to be there, but that he did vote for
Britt. Guido Jimmy Fallon has felt more
emotions in the last 24 hours than he has in a long time. He wanted Britt and he just doesn’t know what
to do now.
Interesting. JJ voted
for Britt and was just talking to Kaitlyn because he felt like he should. But she validated his fatherhood and he was
completely floored.
The dentist gave Kaitlyn a cleaning…with his tongue. Ew. In
the meantime, Jared is worried that he said too much or too little. Also, if any of you ever wondered what Sean
Faris would look like without a mole, he would look like Jared.
Shawn gets the first impression rose (as he should) and they
make out for a bit (as I think is a requirement…)
Kaitlyn is now choosing her men (or possibly Britt's)
Chris gets the first rose that does not come with smooches.
Ben H gets a rose. JJ
gets a rose and he is PUMPED. Joe and
his horses get a rose. Sad LL Cool J
gets a rose (which is sad cause he wanted Britt). Daniel gets a rose--he looks like Edward
Norton….this distracted me enough that I missed some people. I needed pictorial proof.
Zen Master gets a rose which means that for another week we
can wonder who the heck punched him the day before he came to the show. I missed some names in here… I got distracted okay...still by our Edward Norton look a like. Did they just have guys submit a picture to that website that will tell you which celebrity you look like?
Oh good, guido Jimmy Fallon wants to talk to Kaitlyn. I hope he’s saying that his achy breaky heart
needs to go home. He left to go find
Britt. GUYS IT IS SUNRISE! THEY HAVE
KEPT THEM UP LITERALLY ALL NIGHT!!! I’m impressed they all look so good…
Oh good. Ian got a
rose. I was about to start a riot. He’s sooo fine.
Dramatic highlights from this season (Harrison’s words, not
mine): A HORSE! Roses, make out sessions, laughter, sequins EVERYWHERE, guys
getting jealous, NICK?!?!?!?! What the HECK? Also, does she literally make out
with everyone?!?!?! Hold up, did she sleep with someone?? Daaaaannnnngggg. So many man tears. Ian calls her out on it! What? This is crazy!!!!
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