Life Around the Table

Have you ever met someone who understands so deeply what you hold most dear that you just know you would be best friends? This is the feeling I have right now.  To have another human creature validate and also value what means the world to you is warming to the very soul. To borrow from Anne Shirley, I have found a kindred spirit. Shauna Niequist wrote a book called Bread and Wine where she talks about life around the table. Shauna is not the first author to focus in on the importance of having the ones you love around your table. But she is one of the most poetic.

“I’m not talking about cooking as performance, or entertaining as complicated choreography of competition and showing off. I’m talking about feeding someone with honesty and intimacy and love, about making your home a place where people are fiercely protected, even if just for a few hours, from the crush and cruelty of the day.”'

This was my first year where I truly lived out on my own. This was also the first year that I could start to have people in my home as I wished. My dream, and hopefully reality, was that I could make my house a safe haven for my friends. I wanted them to feel entirely welcomed and loved when they walked through those doors, for their shoulders to relax as burdens fell away, and smiles to spread as stomachs were filled.

Life around the table brings a unique opportunity to be present in one another’s lives. There is something to be said for hands being full and hearts being unencumbered. Passing dishes and sharing stories—that is life around the table. An added element for me is cooking the food.  It gives me an opportunity to pour extra time, love, and prayer into the preparation for those meals.  I have found in my limited experience that nothing transforms relationships quite like welcoming people into your home for a meal. It conveys a deep care for those that come because to welcome someone into your house is to welcome them into your life. To read Shauna’s take on the same concept has been like finding a soul that is a twin to mine. Her most succinct advice comes from the front jacket “Tell someone you love them and dinner is at 6.” 

Bachelor Ben: Episode Two

Ben is probably the cutest bachelor we’ve had in the last 5 seasons. He’s just adorable. Our house is pretty excited about him. Sooo hoping I don't dislike him at the end of this. I was really excited about the last Bachelor Ben....but he picked the crazy chick....

KEVIN HART IS ON THIS EPISODE!!!!!

my reaction to seeing Kevin Hart

Lace looks like she’s going to actually have a mental breakdown. I expect great things from her. And by great I mean totally insane. 

I’m so lucky they have names for the girls on the screen all the time. So many of them look alike. He definitely has a type. I know some of the girls that have had screen time, but the rest? It's like they just filmed a Liberal Arts college sorority. 

We are starting the evening with ubiquitous shots of Ben getting ready/ looking pensive. Cause apparently it’s IMPOSSIBLE for a bachelor/bachelorette to get ready without looking pensive. Because putting on my jeans routinely makes me ponder the difficulties of dating 20 people at once. 

Lace admits that she “got a little too drunk, a little too emotional”

riiiiggghhht

“Let’s learn how to Love” –Or more aptly titled “Getting Schooled”

Jackie, LB, Lauren H, Becca, Amber, Portland, JoJo, Jubilee, Jennifer, and Lace get the first date card.

Lace is excited to redeem herself. When you have to say “I am not a crazy girl” you are pretty much A CRAZY GIRL. 

Jubilee is adorable. I really hope that she breaks the barrier on the show and actually makes it really far. The end is usually way too white.

The girls are going to school... They will be split into teams and will have 4 “classes.” After each challenge one team is eliminated. The winner will be Ben’s homecoming queen. Unfortunately, Jubilee was partnered with Lace (who is the worst) and they were eliminated.

BECCA AND JOJO DIDN’T KNOW WHAT INDIANA LOOKS LIKE

Portland won the competition….because she’s got the legs of a stork. That’s so unfortunate. Amber is the one that carried them.

Oh good, Lace is pissed and is just going to be crazy. “My goal is just make sure that Ben doesn’t think I’m a crazy girl.” Oh honey, it’s too late for that.

Becca and Ben are chatting while shooting some hoops.

“My wife could be in this group. We’re getting to the point of real feelings developing.” WHAT?!?! What kind of feelings?? You’ve spent like 30 min with a girl. Feelings of disgust? Feelings of wanting to make out? It sure as heck isn’t feelings of love. You don’t know.

Jennifer and Ben kissed. With this knowledge, Lace’s crazy eyes popped.

Back at the House

Olivia is talking about getting a date card…and makes this horrifying face

Caila gets the one on one date card. I think Kevin Hart will be in her portion of the night!

Lace steals Ben to apologize for last night. She keeps cutting him off and telling him that she’s “not that person. I don’t want you to see that person.” The more she’s talking the more he looks slightly unnerved. She looks like a crazy stalker. Jubilee just SAVED him, walked in before Lace could maul his face. “I can’t believe that Jubilee of all people would do this to me.” Honey, I don't think you guys are close. This is not your bestie stealing your boy. this is a fellow contestant on a television show politely asking to talk to Ben. He is probably blessing her for walking in before Lace pounced.

So let's have a little background on my girl Jubilee. She was adopted from Haiti and is in the military. This girl is so amazing. There is a strength to her that most of the other girls don’t have. And she's gorgeous. She one of 3 girls that I'm pulling for at this point. I really, really hope she goes far.

Lace decides to complain about her lack of time and then interrupts one of the other girls to talk to him again.

I need to make score cards for

·         Lace saying she’s not crazy
·         Ben saying I appreciate that
·         Anyone saying I want to get to know you followed by kissing
·         Disbelief about intensity of feelings developing this quickly
·         Private concerts
·         Statements of being “here for ben” or for “the right reasons”

Ben gives the rose to JoJo.

Chris Harrison planned the One-on-One (like the Bachelor ever plans them)

Ice Cube and Kevin Hart walk through the door. I’m so excited for this. Kevin Hart is hilarious.

What’s the most romantic thing you’ve done for a woman?

                Ice Cube: I married one…that’s romantic right?

                Kevin Hart: I cooked fried chicken one time…in a crock pot.

Kevin Hart is trying to make the date as cheap as possible. He heckles a street vendor to give them half priced flowers. Ice Cube wants Ben to buy condoms and hard liquor. Kevin Hart is giving commentary and Ice Cube is trying really hard not to judge them…but he totally is. I hope they gave them a lot of money to be on this show.

Obviously, the ride along was not conducive for getting to know one another. Especially when Kevin Hart was naked in the hot tub...So the night portion of the date is that much more important. Ben asks Caila what she is looking for in a man…and she answers with the right relationship and then asks him why he thinks he’s unlovable. That’s not actually answering the question.

Gosh, I should have made a score card. Ladies and those Gentlemen forced to watch this, we have a private concert.

“Are We a Perfect Match”

Emily, Shushu, Sam, Olivia, Haley, and Amanda comprise group number 2.

Tweedledee and Tweedledum need to leave. They are obnoxious. 

The girls are at a “love lab.”

a what?

The lab did eye tests, smell test, and a thermal reaction test. It was very weird. Olivia was kinda being a butt about it. She was scoring well and knew it. Sam knew she wasn't scoring as high and Olivia just kept making snide remarks. Gah, her stupid smug face! She needs to stop making the open mouth face.

Ben is very classy on this date yet somehow he picks the meanest girl on the date. 

Maybe it's a Ben thing?

Amanda is super sweet and opened up about her family and he still gave the rose to Olivia who has been a jerk about getting the high score on the love test. Granted, he can’t see it, but darn it! Stop rewarding only the outgoing people! Amanda is Emily 2.0. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS PICK EMILY 2.0!

Cocktail Party

Ben is a lot more calm and he hopes to be talking to everyone tonight. He offered his jacket! He's so sweet sometimes.

Olivia doesn’t want to ‘rest her laurels on having a rose.’ She steals him and sets the house ablaze with gossip. “Now I’m done. Everyone else have at it. I hope everyone can respect that.”  What on earth?! Why would you say that? “Me getting the rose last night, was not my choice. Him pulling me aside, was not my choice.”

OH MY GOSH. LACE pulls Olivia aside to talk about how she’s behaving. Crazy B 1 talking to Crazy B 2.  What. Is. Happening.

Ben gave Lauren B a photo that he had the producers print off. “I don’t know how to make you feel special?” He’s adorable. Go for solid women like Lauren B and Jubilee please! He is giving a couple of the women little presents. HE WANTS TO MAKE THINGS FOR AMBER’S GIRLS. It’s precious! Totally planned by ABC, but great!

Rose Ceremony

EMILY 2.0! Jubilee! Lauren B! Leah, Becca, Rachel (who is that?), Lace (HE LOOKED DOWN! HE DIDN’T WANT TO KEEP HER!) LB –wants to talk to Ben. She's leaving?!?! Jennifer, Emily, Jamie, Lauren H, Shushu, Haley

Chris Harrison comes to remind us all how to count to 1

we should all be able to count to 1

Amber gets the final rose.

Up next: Ben makes out with people, everyone says he’s great, Ben makes out with more people, Olivia gets super possessive, Lace cries more than I think is possible, and eye rolls abound.

Bachelor Ben!

Dear Ben,

I hope I still like you at the end of this.

Love, Me

He hails from Warsaw Indiana…and my sister and Ben have a mutual friend. ALSO she told me when they were filming there.  Crazy, right?!

Ben is telling us about his hopes and dreams while wading in some tall weeds. I wonder if they made someone sit out there until they found some deer to film.

Ben’s greatest fear is to be un-loveable. I wonder at going on national television with that fear. It’s exponentially harder to be real with people when there are 20 other people watching, let alone millions watching on the screen. “I’m really nervous to date 25 people. BUT I’m looking for ways in life to make me a better man…” DATING 25 GIRLS AT ONCE WILL NOT MAKE YOU A BETTER MAN!

Apparently ABC has no shame. Bachelor Ben in a McDonald's commercial. No. Stop. Marketing teams needs to cut it out. That actually makes me want to go to McDonald's less. 

Chris, Sean, and Jason stop by for their contractually obligated advice giving session

“I wanna join the married bachelor club” sooo don’t listen to Chris…

“Good news, is that you’re the only guy. They won’t compare you to anyone.”

“They’ll be thinking about you all the time”

…you are also in the perfect breeding ground for numerous, terrifying stalkers…

I also love that Chris was silent for a good portion.  His advice “it’s hard…and these guys did a lot better job than I did.” You sir, have spoken truth. 

“I am excited about finding someone who is excited…to be alive….and in love” So an adrenaline junkie.

“Nothing was more heartbreaking than when Ben confessed to Kaitlin that he feels un-loveable. Just to show him how loveable he is, we made him the bachelor.” So to show him he’s loveable, you put him in an environment with a horrid success rate?!?!?

Caila BROKE UP WITH HER BOYFRIEND BECAUSE OF WATCHING THE BACHELORETTE??

Mandi is crazy…but she’s also from Portland. She's keeping stereotypes alive one bad hat after another.   “Ben seems like he flosses…”

Twins. Why? Just no. Are they a package deal? Can you pick one without the other? Can they even tell themselves apart? Calling it now. They will be Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

Ah, we have our token mom. Amanda is adorable. I have hopes that she’ll be the next Emily.

CHICKENS

*Not featured on the show. But Google chickens in sunglasses. Seriously.

. Tiara is “a chicken enthusiast” What does that mean? “These are my human babies”

 

THE MOB ARRIVES

First one out of the limo is Lauren B.  She’s cute and giggly. She brought him a pair of wings. I wonder if she wore blue because she’s in the sky all the time.

Caila hops out of the limo, runs, and jumps into his arms. “Thanks for catching me. Can I catch up with you inside?” 

Openners are bad. “Will you remember my name? Ben and Jen is too cute to forget” gag. me. now.

Jami is from Canada. She says she knows Kaitlin and she told Jami that Ben has a really really big…heart. I’m done. I’m just done with this show

Jubilee is stunning. She chokes a little which is adorable.

TOKEN MOM IS HERE! She’s actually normal at the greeting. That will be memorable.

Lace is wearing lace. You are a cliché. And she stole the first kiss.

Lauren R. is a math teacher. She mentions that she’s stalked him over social media. 

He asks for her name…which she never gives… “she was gorgeous…just…don’t know her name…” She's gorgeous and terrifying. Does everyone stalk people on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram? Sure! Do you admit it? NO!

There was a girl that spoke a foreign language the whole time. “I don’t know if I’m tired or just losing my mind.” Probably both. From what I’ve heard about the show, it’s probably crazy late at night by this point.

JoJo needs to just go home. The unicorn bit need to not happen. I wonder how tired Ben was because he said this was normal….and he asked to keep the hat. I bet it was to throw the mask away.

Mandi IS the first impression rose. I'm just going to call her Portland now. She offered to let Ben pollinate the flower later

Self-appointed Red Velvet is freaking out because she “has yet to see an ugly individual.” She may be falling apart, but she's got the best nickname. 

Tweedledee ad Tweedledum are so excited to make an exception for Ben and date the same man.

There is a pony. I am soooo done. 

“He’s the onesie for me!” NO. 

No one wants your puns. Go home.

Jessica looks normal. Please be normal.

Tiara’s here! Chicken lady is here!

Olivia has a cute dimple and seems normal.

Chris Harrison comes to talk to fill time and let Ben know that he can head inside. Honestly, I’m a little disappointed because they TOTALLY doctored his eyes on the ABC website. See?!?! No one has those eyes!

I say lies! No one has eyes like that!

Ben calls his parents on speaker phone and tells them that there are so many beautiful women. I hope he looks for more than looks. 

Olivia left a job that she loved as a news anchor to come on the show…if this doesn’t work out that’s will prove to be a really bad decision.

Ben is talking to all of the girls and says “tonight is gonna get crazy” and cue Chris bringing in Becca and Amber. Hahahahaha he just sends them inside “find Ben and see what he says.” Helpful Harrison is not something that Chris would ever be called.

Lace is wasted. She asks Ben for a kiss. Before Ben could explain why he wanted to wait on that, Portland came in and stole him. Lace is losing it.

Okay, Ben is solid. He searches for Lace to clarify so that she isn’t reading into things too much. That’s so thoughtful. However, Lace is so wasted that she’s reading too much into that and completely confused what Ben said.

I really like Ben and Lauren B. They seem very natural together. I hope she gets the first impression rose…..but it goes to Olivia. She gets it for giving up a job for a man she doesn’t know.

ROSE CEREMONY

Ben walks in and mimes his heart pounding. Nervous laughter obnoxiously floods the room. Ben gives the thanks-for-playing speech.

The Rose Winners is order of appearance:

Lauren B, LB, Caila (Dang it. Crazy eyes is staying), Amber, Jami, Jennifer, Jubilee, Amanda, JoJo, Lea, Rachel, Samantha, Jackie, Tweedledee, Tweedledum, Shushuana? Shushawna? Shushu? Shushu. Lauren H., Becca, PORTLAND?!?!, AND FREAKING LACE? but…..but…Red Velvet. Why? She’s cuter and WAY more sane. 

Lace is also wasted.  She grabbed Ben to scold him for not looking at her. She’s questioning everything because he didn’t look at her once. “I GAVE HER A ROSE!” Yes, you did Ben. But when you give a Lace a rose she’s gonna want a ring.

Coming Soon! to a TV near you: Girls Crying! Ben Crying! Drama! Backstabbing! Waterfalls! “Advice” from Chris Harrison! And every 5^th girl telling Ben she loves him (I see what you did there ABC)

My sister participates in five Friday favorites. Every Friday (or close enough) she post five favorite things from her week.  As its Tuesday, I will see her five and raise her five.  Hence, welcome to Tuesday Ten (which will not be anywhere near weekly, just so we're on the same page). 

1. Brewed Coffee. I worked as a Barista for a few years, but I usually shied away from brewed coffee for one particular reason—I knew I would get hooked.  I was going to college and I didn’t want to be that person that HAD to brew coffee every morning.  Fast forward a few years and gaining an understaffed office and… “Well hello brewed coffee, you look delicious today.  Why yes, I’ll unashamedly drink copious amounts of you every day.”   Double bonus: adding a scoop of hot chocolate mix makes a decent poor man’s mocha.  This is my current go-to at work. Triple bonus: coffee-mate has put out some limited edition Star Wars themed bottles.  I have two of them in my fridge.
2. Fleece Lined Leggings.  Yes these have been a thing for a while, but I haven’t owned a pair.  Oh my gosh, they are heavenly! Seriously, in love with the pair I have.  They are wine colored and one of the most comfortable things I’ve ever worn. Also, they bring a nice pop of color to my wardrobe.  Hello little black dress, meet your new winter pal fleece leggings. You’ll be so happy together.
   
3. Peanut Butter M&Ms.  Remember when I said our office was understaffed?  Well when you have to type furiously, a salty/sweet snack is the perfect thing to keep you sane.  They are delicious, non-sticky, and easy to pop into your mouth.  That ladies and gentlemen, is a win-win-win.
4. Boy Meets World.  I got the entire series on DVD this summer.  Once school started up again I found out that one of my best friends has never seen the show.  Needless to say, we are in the process of fixing this travesty.  Mondays are now spent with Cory and the gang.
   
5. Tiny humans.  My cousins live close to my office so my lunch break has become a time that I can hang out with some of the cutest kiddos around. Nothing makes a stressful work day better than holding a smiling baby. Nothing.
   
6. New recipes. Since stepping out on my own, I’ve started trying new recipes to be more adult like. Buying groceries for Boeuf Bourguignon makes me feel insanely classy.  People look in your cart and they know two things 1) that you are cooking something from scratch and 2) you are an adult because there is wine in your cart.
7. Slushies. The gas station next to our office has the most delightful soda slushies.  They are fluffy and refreshing.  I know fluffy is a weird way to describe them, but they aren’t dissimilar to eating cold cotton candy.  And they have a Coke one so I’m happy about that. Those slushies have become my go-to pick me up on long afternoons.
8. Bible Study. I joined a Bible study at the beginning of the summer. Since I went to a Bible college I never made time for the studies at my church.  We had the Bible in every class and carving time for people who weren’t 5 steps from my dorm door was too much of a time commitment in the midst of studies, work, and friends.  However, joining the Bible study was the best decision I made by far this summer. I love the people.  I love the sincerity.  I love the way everyone welcomes everyone. I love that we are going on a hayrack ride this Thursday.  I love that we have monthly food nights where we cook and study Scripture together. Some of my best friendships are coming from this Bible Study.
9. Writing. I often wonder how humans can forget what they love. Yet, its something I do all the time.  I LOVED to write growing up.  I found a bunch of incomplete stories scribbled in my math notebook from high school.  I used to write whenever I had free time at school, especially if it was raining. Something about dreary weather will always be magical to me. It’s the perfect atmosphere for imagination. I haven’t written anything in ages, but I’m about to.  Once again, November is almost upon us which means NaNoWriMo is just around the corner.  The idea is to write a 50K word novel in 30 days.  Is that crazy? Yep. I am signing up? Yep. Will I finish? Chances are low, but half the fun is trying.  Worst case scenario, I have an excuse to spend extra time in coffee shops. Best case scenario, I become a famous author. This, is what I call a win-win.

   

   NaNoWriMo

10. Hosting. My favorite thing about life right now is that my house is close to my alma mater. I have people over regularly.  Having people in my home is one of my greatest joys.  Making people feel comfortable and loved in my space is life giving to me.  Hosting lets me spend time with people I love and try out recipes that are oh-so-tasty.  I also believe that there is something to be said about inviting people into your home. It’s like inviting people to be a part of your life--to be present where you live your every-day-this-is-who-I-am life.  It fosters friendships and community.  And I love it--it makes family out of friends and friends out of family. 

    

    Full disclosure on this one: I just wanted to put a picture of me looking all boss with my brother. He was over this weekend (the tie in to the post) and he has a motorcycle...obviously pictures had to be taken

And then there actually was one

Bachelorette(s) Night Two

Someone should punch Chris Harrison in the face.  He told Britt she wasn’t the bachelorette in the longest way possible.  I’ve counted the roses….the majority of the men have voted…..for one woman...who they hope to have a future with….and that woman….is not you.  Bro, just tell the girl she didn’t get it.  And then he told her it was close.  That’s not helping.  Now we see the tears that Britt became famous for.  We also get the classic “I’m just looking for love” and “I thought this was my time”…now I just have “All TheRight Moves” by OneRepublic in my head…

Huh.  Apparently when Chris Harrison is involved, good news travels faster than bad news.  Kaitlyn is shocked and delighted to be the bachelorette.  Best part: Chris tells her to take a minute before she goes in because she needs to send some guys home.  Her response? “Oh, I still have to do that??” It was precious. 

Kaitlyn calls her mom on speaker phone to tell her that she got the job of dating 25 men (well…soon to be 15 or so). 

Shawn and many others are super excited that Kaitlyn is the bachelorette.  If I’m gonna be honest, I think that she should just take Shawn and Ian and send the rest home.  Ian snags her first (well done) and he is quickly interrupted.  Josh gives Kaitlyn the rose that he welded.  “He was like all ‘I’m a Maaaann’ and that’s hot.” I think that went over well. 

Chris Harrison brought out the first impression rose.  Kaitlyn is just ignoring it at this point. Tony, aka Zen Master, is really confused right now.  Some of the guys are totally pumped that it’s Kaitlyn.  Others are having to rethink things because they voted for the other girl.  Jared is an interesting little fellow.  He told Kaitlyn that he voted for Britt.  He wants her to know that he does still want to be there, but that he did vote for Britt.  Guido Jimmy Fallon has felt more emotions in the last 24 hours than he has in a long time.  He wanted Britt and he just doesn’t know what to do now.

Interesting.  JJ voted for Britt and was just talking to Kaitlyn because he felt like he should.  But she validated his fatherhood and he was completely floored. 

The dentist gave Kaitlyn a cleaning…with his tongue.  Ew.  In the meantime, Jared is worried that he said too much or too little.  Also, if any of you ever wondered what Sean Faris would look like without a mole, he would look like Jared.

Shawn gets the first impression rose (as he should) and they make out for a bit (as I think is a requirement…)

Kaitlyn is now choosing her men (or possibly Britt's)

Chris gets the first rose that does not come with smooches.

Ben H gets a rose.  JJ gets a rose and he is PUMPED.  Joe and his horses get a rose.  Sad LL Cool J gets a rose (which is sad cause he wanted Britt).  Daniel gets a rose--he looks like Edward Norton….this distracted me enough that I missed some people.  I needed pictorial proof.

Zen Master gets a rose which means that for another week we can wonder who the heck punched him the day before he came to the show.  I missed some names in here… I got distracted okay...still by our Edward Norton look a like.  Did they just have guys submit a picture to that website that will tell you which celebrity you look like? 

Oh good, guido Jimmy Fallon wants to talk to Kaitlyn.  I hope he’s saying that his achy breaky heart needs to go home.  He left to go find Britt.  GUYS IT IS SUNRISE! THEY HAVE KEPT THEM UP LITERALLY ALL NIGHT!!! I’m impressed they all look so good…

Oh good.  Ian got a rose.  I was about to start a riot.  He’s sooo fine. 

Dramatic highlights from this season (Harrison’s words, not mine): A HORSE! Roses, make out sessions, laughter, sequins EVERYWHERE, guys getting jealous, NICK?!?!?!?! What the HECK? Also, does she literally make out with everyone?!?!?! Hold up, did she sleep with someone?? Daaaaannnnngggg.  So many man tears.  Ian calls her out on it! What?  This is crazy!!!!

And then there were...two?

The Bachelorette(s) 2015

Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson are opposites that are somehow both super intense.  Kaitlyn is the loud inappropriate one and Britt is the loud emotional one.  So our usual group of 25 men must choose which girl they want to fight each other for…gladiator style.  Twice the girls, twice the drama, 4 times the tears (trust me, the math is solid). 

As you can imagine, we start the show with some vomit inducing introductions from Chris Harrison.  The girls look…a decent level of crazy.  Just the right mixture of nuts and hot for the show to work well.

As to a couple of the guys.  Jonathan is adorable and has a precious kid.  Joe has horses…and looks like he ran into a wall.  Josh is a law student AND a FIREFIGHTER?? NO HE’S a STRIPPER.  Classic.  Brady is a winy singer….or as I shall call him guido Jimmy Fallon.  Seriously.  Check it out. 

                                         

Joshua is adorable….and seems like he will be farmer Chris 2.0! He WELDED A ROSE.  What??  Oh hello Ian.  So we have a hot guy who is also deep.  Well done ABC. 

Jared pulled a superman move to reveal his heart…on his shirt.  WHO IS THE YOGA MASTER? Tony.  Tony should go home.  He has a poster that says “spiritual gangster.” Nope. Just nope.  Although he could give us the classically bad and downright depressingly horrible comments that the girls of the Bachelor usually give us.  Ben Z is really buff personal trainer.  I do find it funny that they asked each guy who they wanted and Ben Z says that either would be great….so basically just give the man a woman...hahaha okay.

Chris is asking the girls how they feel.  FREAKING WEIRD THAT’S HOW! 

“Obviously, the both of you are looking for love.  But the guys will have some power tonight…” Thanks captain obvious.  Britt is giving Chris the optimistic answers while Kaitlyn is letting her bitch face fly.  I now want Kaitlyn just for that.  I want someone who will Jim Halpert the camera without being edited out. 

The guys are arriving…and I already am forgetting some of them.  The line between memorable and crazy is sooo close…and they are all staying so far away from that line.  Boring people.  Everyone is going to Britt first!  Kaitlyn looks like she is about to lose it.  

GUYS! One of them hit the crazy mark! Love Man is some guy’s alter ego.  I won’t remember his real name.  Just Love Man.  Ew.  Kupah is really creepy...he's like the poor man's LL Cool J. 

THEY ARE ALL STILL GOING TO BRITT for the longest amount of time.  Ian liked Kaitlyn the best.  I like Ian now.  JJ made a hockey joke.  He basically just revamped what was she did on her season.  Kaitlyn’s night seems to be looking up and it shows.  Finally! The funny guys that understand that you have to be memorable (and a decent level of nuts) seem to be going for Kaitlyn.  SOMEONE BROUGHT HER MOONSHINE! Hahaha that’s hilarious! Kaitlyn is getting all the presents.  Okay.  Maybe this will be more of even match tonight.  Hahahahahaha one of the guys brought Britt tissues because he watched her cry all the time last season. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have our first unscripted moment of the evening—Kaitlyn sneaking into the house to say hello to all the guys.  Britt thought it was cheating, Kaitlyn said it felt right.  Chris Harrison knows that it is ratings gold. 

We already have our drunkard for the season.  Poor Ryan M.  He’s just too honest?? Overly mean?   I’m sorry, Ryan M just yelled at the man who drove the hot tub car…who is also an “amateur sex coach”? How is that your profession and you are still an amateur? And a dentist just drove up in a cupcake??

Chris Harrison comes to end all happiness and joy.  The guys will choose who will stay and who will go.  Kaitlyn opened up with a joke and Britt opened up with her feelings or as the wise woman sitting next to me said “she spoke from her tear ducts!”

Now we are watching the guys talk to the girls.  One of the guys posed an interesting question “Do you pick the girl that you like most, or the one that likes you the most? Cause in the end you need the one that likes you the most…” That statement blew the stripper’s mind.  SOMEONE DREW CHRIS HARRISON ON A TRICERATOPS!!! What??? You are the coolest. Best. Present. Ever. 

Chris Harrison shows up to tell the guys that they must vote to pick who will be the next bachelorette….who will then choose the guys right?? That’s the unspoken part 2, right?  Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Tony looked like he was feeling the spirits before he dropped a rose into the box.  The other guys seem to be freaking out a little bit.  The tension is palpable.  “What if I make the wrong choice? What if I go with the initial attraction and miss out on what would have developed in a couple of weeks?” Excellent question, man whose name I don’t remember as you have had almost no air time, excellent question.

The main focus of this time has become Ryan M who is waaaaaaassstttteeedddd.  Oh my gosh! Chris Harrison has a bouncer! They just had a guy go in and get sloshy Ryan M and bring him outside.  At least they aren’t making the girls kick people out anymore.  Bouncers make this more legit. 

The guys are trying to scheme to keep “their girl” around.  I’m still hoping for Kaitlyn.  She just seems more genuine.  Shawn B is so nice.  He’s got a good southern drawl.  Guido Jimmy Fallon is talking to Britt.  I just can’t think of anything but that.  I don’t even know what he is saying…I just want Jimmy Fallon to do a bit where he talks about the show as this guy. 

Chris Harrison is going to start counting roses.  If they don’t tell us tonight I’m going to be so upset.  They are gonna be jerks and tell us tomorrow.  Britt is waiting by the fire like a Disney princess.  Kaitlyn looks more like a real person as she waits.  Yep.  They are jerks. Well, guess I'm tuning in tomorrow.  Dang it ABC, you win this round.  

Tomorrow: and then there was one...hopefully...please??

...I don't actually want to watch two girls for this entire season

A Blog for Becky, a Charitable Endeavor

Many Moons ago (approximately two) I promised my sister that I would write a blog post of the 10 most prolific authors (at least on my bookshelves).

I shall list these in the order that I counted them.

1. Jane Austen—I have 6 novels by Jane.  She taught me the distinct pleasure of mocking the ridiculous constraints in society with copious amounts of wit and sass.  I mean, who doesn't need to learn that lesson.
2. L.M. Montgomery—Anne of Green Gables is a classic.  Reading those books made me realize that even the mundane in life can be extraordinary with the right people beside you.  I also thought she had quite a knack for putting a positive light on the otherwise mundane things in life.
3. Janette Oak—author of the Love Comes Softly series.  The first book of this series is the one that actually kicked off reading as a hobby for me.  Up until that point, I was not a reader and had no interest in books.  Shout out to my 6^th grade teacher who kept a bookshelf full of books for kids who finished tests early.  You, madam, provided the tools necessary to turn me into a book worm.
4. C.S. Lewis—Chronicles of Narnia, need I say more?  I also have some of his other books on the Christian life, but this series captivated my mind as a child.  My aunt read them to us as children and I will always think of her when I read The Last Battle.
5. Douglas Adams—The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy was the first Science Fiction book that I ever read.  Adam’s dry humor and quick wit were delightful.  As an added bonus, it gave me something to talk about with my brother and cousins.
6. J.K. Rowling—The Harry Potter series is quite fascinating.  I did not read these until I was in my twenties, but I loved Rowling’s writing from the start. 
7. Beth Moore—I have more books than I can read by Beth Moore.  She has great insight into the Christian walk and is such a cool lady….and Amazon was having a sale….
8. Orson Scott Card—This is where my Science Fiction addiction gets real.  Between Ender’s Game and Pathfinder Orson Scott Card (no, you can’t separate his names) has kept me fascinated for days after finishing the books.  One of my best friends also reads Orson Scott Card’s works and we have discussed them at length numerous times.  He has a way of taking a common topic and making it extraordinary once again.
9. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle—Sherlock Holmes is one of the greatest stories.  I have all of them.  I have been reading through them for a while, but they are always good.  No matter what mood I’m in, I will always want to read Sherlock Holmes.
10. Charles Dickens—I love Dickens.  I love how he is super descriptive.  I hate how I will always be asleep after reading a chapter.  He is great for screen adaptations—Bleak House and Little Dorrit are phenomenal....and on Netflix (well Bleak House anyway).