Monday, August 4, 2014

The Week Where Chris will be Sent Home so He Can be the next Bachelor

*My apologies for the delay on this post.  It has no editing because I was tired and forgot to post it...until now.  On a side note, whenever I see "Dominican Republic" I always think of this girl that was in my college literature class who always pronounced it "Dominican Republican."

The gang is in sunny Dominican Republic.  Andi says that this is a beautiful place to be in love with one person at the end of this journey.  She has three different paths in front of her right now.  Andi’s recaps of the guys makes me want to punch a wall.  By her own description Josh is perfect for her.  He is her type, he makes her laugh, they always have fun, he sees her for who she is, and the list goes on.  However, she came on this show to try something different… why is that your negative? That should not be a negative! He’s better than your exes! Why are you projecting onto him!?!  She says many wonderful things about Chris, but let’s be real, boy is going home.  She talks about Nick and they show a montage.  I am being struck by the idea that if Andi were to choose Josh, Nick would crack.  I’m convinced he would go full blown psychopath and burn down a building. 
Andi and Nick have a private island all to themselves for their date.  This date is turning into a watery make out fest.  I don’t want to watch this.  Also, we are wondering how romantic it can get with producers watching you like hawks.  Like “Here’s a private island for you, your love interest, and 3 camera men, 2 producers, and a mic guy!”
Andi and Nick are talking and she might actually be listening because she is too busy stuffing her face with chips to comment. 
Nick just told Andi that he did what any “33 year old man from the Midwest would do” and he wrote a story.  I’m from the Midwest….no 33 year old man would write a story unless it was a request from their child or they were actually getting paid.  Most of them have jobs dude.  They have better things to do than fulfill whatever the ABC producers request.  Nick tells Andi he loves her but it takes a couple of tries.  His first attempt was “I love what I know about you” which is vastly different from “I love you.” The latter is an unconditional statement.  The first is dependent upon what you know and gives him an out if he finds out something that he does not like.  No worries guys, he finally gets it out with the proper wording.
Josh and Andi are exploring the capital.  She surprises him with taking him to a local baseball diamond.  They start playing some baseball with some local kids.  Josh also tells Andi that he loves her.  And he was graceful…unlike Nick.  Andi is nervous because there is a fantasy card on the table tonight.  She needs to know that he can be serious because he is always so happy….so basically she wants to know if Josh can have Nick’s personality before she goes any farther… and the rest of the date is spent with them making out…in a pool.
Andi and Chris go horseback.  They ride past some Dominican farms and Andi asks Chris if this is cool for him.  “It’s interesting…”  hahaha.  That means no.  She also said that it looked like Iowa.  No.  No it didn’t.  I am getting the impression that neither of these two are in this.  Chris just said that he loves her and she just gave him an “aw crap” face.  Andi is now crying and is going to send him home.  She bawls out some sort of apology.  Chris was a total gentleman and even offers Andi his arm when she stands up.  WHAT KIND OF TWISTED BREAKUP IS THIS?!?!? Andi is bawling and Chris is consoling her when she did the dumping! What the heck?!?
Chris Harrison comes to Andi the next morning for her usual counseling session. 

Guess what.  Two guys, two roses.  Andi is ecstatic. 

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