Bachelorette: Des Edition!

Welcome to the Bachelorette: Des Edition!

She’s hopeful! She’s living in a dream! She’s headed for heartbreak!

A car slowly pulls up to a pretty house…and the hood is popped!  

Des comes from a good family…and she cried cause she’s so happy??  The question in our house is this: does Chris have a new nose???  But why would you give yourself a beak nose?  Did he break it??  Did he get a new affinity for birds?

We were pulled back to the show by the Sean-broke-my-heart montage.  No worries people.  ABC gave her a cute blue convertible.  All is forgiven.  ‘Give her love and she’s happy.’  Love is apparently synonymous with a convertible.  Des wants to give her heart to someone that she knows won’t break it…WHY ARE YOU ON THIS SHOW?  That is definitely not going to happen here. 

Des says tonight, everything is going to change.  She’s like Cinderella! Except she’s not.  Cause Cinderella did NOT have 25 guys waiting to get a rose from her. 

Chris is excited that Des will kiss a guy if she wants to kiss a guy.  She wants a man.  Apparently Chris thinks her problem on the Bachelor was holding back and she won’t make that mistake again.  The people in my house were unaware that she had held back last season.  “Does your fairy tale have a happy ending?” Wow Chris.  Thanks for the stupid questions.  And unanswerable ones.  How can she tell the future? Thankfully, Chris and his new beak are leaving Des alone to get ready.

Des gets ready and is crying again because she’s got her fairy tale.  If there is this much crying BEFORE the drama, what does that mean when the inevitable dramatic storm hits?  Previews tell us that someone has a girlfriend back home.  My gut says that this will cause an all-out breakdown. 

*Let’s get a preview of a couple of the guys!

Bryden was in the military.  His montage is all about him and his gun….and boots.  He’s ready for a serious relationship. They used his dog as a metaphor for his loyalty and love.  He shall be known as military man!

Will does sauna yoga and he gives out free hi fives to people who do not look like they want it.

It’s Drew or as we shall call him Jake 2.0!  Wow Jake 2.0 is already pulling out the hard family back story.  He knows he’s ready for love.  Des is genuine and he thinks she could be the one.

Wow. We got a mobster look-a-like in Nick R.  Oh it’s glorious! He is a tailor/ magician.  He can make his own capes! He wants Des to be his magician assistant….creepy.  Someone tweeted “being a magician assistant is definitely my idea of true love”  hahah…oh I love how everyone can make fun of people’s delusional ideas of what love is.  I definitely don’t think Foreigner was talking about magic shows when they wrote “I Want To Know What Love Is”  and I don’t think it’s what Des is thinking about either.

Zak W.  welcomes us to the hill country by jumping into the water in swimming trunks and SOCKS.  He also stands on his deck naked. 

Robert “invented” sign spinning.  I don’t know how that works.  He hopefully will turn out to be One F Jeff 2.0.  There is a skateboard, there is a business, there’s some perfectly aligned hair….my chances of this dream coming true are very good.

Mike is a creepy dental student.  He was born and raised in England.  Yet, he doesn’t have the accent…and he realizes that this makes him 30% less attractive.  Yes. Yes it does.

Brandon is a wake boarding junky.  He also pulls out the sad backstory.  ‘Life’s waters have been a little choppy.’  He just wants to be loved.  While he seems really sad about it, he has shared his entire sad story with 100% less tears than Des shared her happy one. 

On to the limos!

Des is so excited to meet the men!  She is definitely ready to be the belle of the ball…again…you are NOT Cinderella.  She is super sparkly.  Shine bright like a diamond! ...cause you want one! The guys are ooing, awing, and clapping in the limo. First man up is Jake 2.0!  She thinks he’s adorable.  He just keeps looking her over and they are excited to get to know each other.  She smirks and does the mmm mmm mmm.

Unfortunately, we missed some people because of a weather report… I’m sure one of them will get a rose and I’ll be like who is THAT? Now we’re back with Michael the lawyer.  He is trying to find her a penny that has been thrown in the well to give her a shot at love again.  I’m guessing this is supposed to be a la When In Rome.  He doesn’t find one and gives her a new penny to throw into the fountain for a shot at love.

Kasey looks like a NERD. And if he mentions hashtags all the time I will personally start a hunting party.

Will is nicknaming Des…Athena…the goddess of wisdom…and literally everything else: including math.  Athena is literally the goddess of everything…war, wisdom, love, math, courage, inspiration, civilization, law, justice, strength, strategy, crafts, skill, and the arts. Does that mean Des is everything?

Mikey…I remember nothing of what you said.

Jonathan brought Des a letter that says that she can elect to go with him to the fantasy suite.  She passes.  Good move cause he was a CREEPER.  Note: never give a girl a note saying you can go to a fantasy suite when it is the first time you meet her. The. Very. First. Time. You. Meet.  DON’T do that. Ever.

Zak W. is introducing Des to the hill country…of his abs.  They are legitimately impressive.   One of the other guys exclaimed “Dear God what is that guy’s shirt doing off?!?!” haha.  This is why I love the bachelorette.  The guys make The. Best. Comments.

James is the only guy to answer the “what if I get fat” question right.  This makes me like him even though he was kind of awkward.

Larry is teaching Des a dance move….but he messes up AND her dress got caught.  ABC wants you to know this was creepy by playing appropriately creepy music. 

THE MAGICIAN! He burns things! He gives secret roses! He is someone strange!

Zach K. is wearing converse.  He says basically nothing.

Oh the knight in shining armor is here…and he looks like he’s in pain.  Diogo is his name-o!  Des does not like the outfit.  And by his face, Diogo looks like he wishes he hadn't gone that route.   Jonathan thinks that going as a “shining knight in armor” is trying too hard.  That’s right. Diogo went as a shining knight in armor…not a knight in shining armor.  Thanks for the clarification Jonathan.  Michael G. says there is a lot of craziness in the house right now from the “crazy stripper guy, to the full armor, to the guy trying to do magic.”  My favorite comment was from the guy who told Diogo to “stay away from the water cause you probably won’t float.”

Chris and his beak nose are talking to Des about guys without shirts and guys in armor.  But that’s only the first 15! There are 10 more chance for crazy!

Chris (not our host with the beak, but an actual contestant) is getting down on one knee and he asks if he can tie his shoe.  We are all fans of his purple socks.  She says “funny” as Chris walks away but her tone says no.

It’s the dentist…he wore his coat to be “McSteamy” for her tonight.  Ew. Just…ew.

Robert is going to throw away his tie.  I still have hopes of him being One F Jeff 2.0

Juan Pablo from Venezuela. They spent half of their time trying to say his name. 

There is a guy on a motorcycle!  Brandon kinda reminds us of Kasey of Kasey and Vienna on Bachelor Pad.

Velveteen Rabbit …why? Why?

Micah designed his own outfit…and its’ AWFUL.   Des thinks she’ll do the sewing.

Nik M.  wrote a very cheesy note to Des. 

Dan looks like the Ken doll came to life! His face is …plastic-y.

There is an adorable little kid who came with his dad!  He is so cute! Ben is his dad.  I was a little nervous that he brought his kid but I am relieved that he sent the kid back before entering the house.  And Des TOTALLY fell for it.

Chris wants Des to get ready for the night of her life! Well of course it will be…there is a magician inside! …somehow she is blown away by all of them….Chris wants her to know that she can give out the roses whenever she wants to…just like Sean….I’m so glad we will take every opportunity to remind her that Sean didn’t pick her. 

Now to mingle!

If Kasey says one more hashtag comment he will be #dead.

Good news! The Magician has a trick up his sleeve! He is going to make Des disappear…by walking her out of the room.  Larry is super disappointed because he actually wanted to see a magic trick.  I like his comments.  I hope he stays around if he is going to have good comedic timing like that. 

Brandon gives her a coin from his mother who is 7 years sober.  He wants her to give it back to his mom at hometowns.  I want her to give it back before she sends him home.  One of the girls in our house hopes she uses it to flip for if he stays or if he goes.

We are also wondering what the shirtless guy would do if he got a rose…there is nowhere to put it.

We’re just two friends who had a kid together???  Ben what are you saying?  Yet, Des and Ben have a connection.  They both love camping.  Looks like Des is going to follow in the footsteps of the one who broke her heart and give out the roses whenever she wanted.  She goes to get him a rose and the guys are freaking out!  “How many are there?”  “One less.”  Wow, thanks captain obvious.Word is spreading that Ben has a rose...and Larry hates him.  Have I said that I like Larry’s comments?

Des finds it so flattering how the guys are trying to get her attention.  The guys are calling the Zak the “shirtless wonder.”  He jumps into the pool and Des walks away with another guy.  She was taken by hashtag guy.  Yet, Shirtless Wonder gets a rose.  I love that Des says that she doesn’t know where to put it.  She ends up attaching it to his belt.  Which brings our house to the question: where is his microphone?

Military man is talking about his dog or as I like to call her military man’s metaphor.  He tells a cute story about his time working with a boy in Iraq.  He gets a rose.  I like him.  He gets my vote.

Juan Pablo also gets the mmm mmm mmm from Des.  Who else thinks he'll be around for a while? They are going to try playing soccer.  She thinks he is ‘a dream of a man.’  All the guys start playing soccer too because they REALLY want roses. 

Jake 2.0 is getting nervous and he wants time with her.  Des is giving Jake 2.0 a rose because he is so cute and nervous.

Larry is getting very nervous cause their dancing was bad and he knows it.  He wants to talk about “the dip.”  Wording it like this was not a good choice because Des had no idea what he meant.  He just says things so creepily….he also mentioned Sean.  Stop it.  It’s a bad plan.  He looks bored. Des asks him if he’s sleepy cause he looks like he’s yawning.  He also took his glasses off and put them back on multiple times.  I wonder if he thinks this would be attractive??

Jonathan does “bold things” …he is also the fantasy suite guy.  We think he is drunk.  Larry says that having “fantasy suite guy” around makes him feel good cause then he’s not the worst first impression.  Jonathan sounds like a date rapist.  He says that he is better than her last boyfriend.  Yeah…bring up Sean.  That’s a good idea.  Well, he did say he does bold things.  Mentioning someone’s ex on the first “date” is bold.  Des is handling it fairly well.  I think he is scary.  Oh no.  He has a “very large love tank” and he wants to steal her for a second conversation.  Des looks skittish.  When Jonathan mentions the fantasy suite again Des kicked him out.  Bravo!  Unfortunately, this means that Larry has the worst first impression now.

Chris and his beak unnecessarily inform the guys of how the rose ceremony works. Des thanks them for being here today…unfortunately she does not give them the wave of royalty that Julie Andrews taught us.

Brandon is the first man saved of those who don’t already have roses…I literally cannot remember anything about him.  Zack K and his chucks get a rose!  Will and his unwanted high fives gets a rose.  There are shots of the guys gulping and Brooks gets a rose.  Juan Pablo gets a rose.  Not surprised.  We wish he would have said yes in Spanish.  Brad also gets a rose.  Kasey gets a rose #dangit.  James gets a rose.  Robert, the inventor of sign spinning, gets a rose.  Bryan the velveteen rabbit gets a rose.  Dan, aka Ken doll, gets a plastic rose.  The magician has the creepiest waiting face.  Chris gets a rose.  All the guys left look like they are going to cry.  We think it’s from Des’ sparkly dress.  It’s probably blinding them.  Mikey gets the last rose. 

Larry is disappointed that he is not going to continue this journey.  Me too.  I’ll miss his comments.  He still regrets “the dip” and he apparently practiced it 50 times.  Of the 50 people he dipped ‘only, maybe 2 had a problem’.  Poor guy. 

Nick R. thinks that Des made a mistake.  He just cares a lot.  But I think he shouldn't have tried so much magic…

Diogo did not get anywhere with the shining armor.  He was willing to put on the suit…but it didn’t get him anywhere.  He has “an explosion of feelings and love.”  He is so sad.  I like his tie.  He should have just got with that.  I guess Diogo was a no-go.

Clorox is presenting “bachelorette bleach-able moments”  WHAT???? I’m impressed and disturbed that another company is openly advertising that there are some things that just go horribly wrong on this show.

Previews!

Des feels like this life is a fairy tale.  Far off places, punches!, tears, and someone has a secret girlfriend.  Looks exciting….and tear filled.  Seriously tear filled.  Like this season may break records in the tear department.  There was straight up male sobbing.  Des never thought this could happen.  Again, do you know which show you are on? 

Le Bloopers: Oh good.  Larry did get his magic trick after all.  Will cannot believe that the magician actually had a job as a magician.  Larry was impressed.  I’m so glad he got his wish after all.  

Le Bachelor

Alright everybody—it’s Bachelor time!  Sean is the Bachelor, which honestly disappointed me.   He is great and I loved how he handled everything on Emily’s season.  However, every guy that I have liked on the Bachelorette has turned into an idiot when he became the Bachelor.  So we’ll see how things go.  Here’s to hoping he chooses wisely unlike Ben and Jake. 

For starters the montages at the beginning of the episodes are ridiculous.  I am so glad to know that Sean thinks about the possibility of a future wife while he’s in the shower…cause that makes it SO much better….(insert a sarcastic face here)

One-armed Sarah gets the first date.  She seems to be stuck on the fact that she was born without two complete arms.  In my dorm we are wondering how she puts her hair into a ponytail with only one hand.  But more to the point: we know you only have 1.5 arms and you don’t need to mention it constantly.  Also, you are probably secure until he talks to you for more than 10 minutes because he would look super shallow if he kick off a handy capped person.  Sarah is currently in the running for the most ridiculous comments of the day with: “My ability to love someone is not affected by how many hands I have.”

On the date:

      Sean is attracted to Sarah because she told him about why her arm is not…complete.  So, they are on the top of a building…in my dorm we are hoping that they will make the one armed girl repel down the side of a building.  Also, we think the crew is doing her hair for her.  Oh good, they are doing a free fall (with cameras attached to their heads, naturally).   Sean is super pumped that they made it all the way down.  Sarah is super impressed that Sean took extra time to make sure she was okay.  Did you watch the last season?  He’s a GENTLEMAN.  Don’t read into that….it will end poorly for you.  Sarah wants to share how profound jumping off a building is.  Ladies and gents, sit down for a story, a zip-lining story.  Sarah could not go zip-lining because she had a disability (camera close up of her stump, again).  Ergo, Sarah appreciates that Sean thought she could free fall off the side of a building.  She wants a man who can handle all of her troubles.  She needs a strong man.  With that Sean made his first submission to the stupid comments competition: “I do consider myself a man.” 

      Sarah is hoping for the rose…my money is on her getting it.  Oh look, she did.  She is “shocked” and excited.  Sean is blown away.  Supposedly they have a good connection….I don’t see it.  Sean says it has been a while since he’s wanted a first kiss so bad.  I’m calling’ crap on that one.  Oh no! Sarah says she’s already falling in love with Sean.

Group date has 13 girls.  THIRTEEN! That is way too many people.  Also, ABC has pulled out their classic ploy of a photo shoot or movie making.  Oh the jealousies that will come into play.  Tierra, or as my dorm calls her, Cra-Cra Tierra, is going to have a mental break by the end of the season.  I’m calling it now: Cra-Cra Tierra will be this season’s psycho.  Oh gosh, Sean is doing the prince on the balcony pose.  The girls are running to him.  RUNNING.  Kacie B is funny: “This is my first group date on this season of the Bachelor.”  I’m glad she’s back and that she can poke fun at the peculiarity of her situation.  It’s a book cover photo shoot.  This is dumb.  For realz.  Kristy is VERY excited.  She squealed; she jumped; she stroked Sean’s stomach.  Tierra is going to flip.   Tierra is also very proud of the fact that she does not have extensions, like other people.  She is already being labeled the fake girl. 

       For the photos there are 4 categories: Cowgirl, Vampire, Sexy and, Historical.  Sean likes Lesley M.’s sexy side.  He’s seeing a “new side of her.”  The photographer told Sean and Lesley M. to kiss.  All 12 other girls are ticked, Tierra especially.  She has crazy eyes and they are trained on Lesley M.  This should be interesting.  Kristy brought her A game.  Tierra is looking even crazier.  Kristy and her A game took home the prize.  Being a model definitely paid off. 

Pool party

It is interesting that no one is wearing swimsuits at a pool party.  Sean steals Lesley M. first.  They are obviously into each other.  Sean wants the real reason she’s here.  She says that honestly, she is here “for love” and that she was not going to tell him, but it’s true.  Sean wants to kiss her, but she gets nervous and they have awkward tension…which he finds attractive?  Her body language is bad.  Very bad. At one point she said that she would like to keep staring, as long he would let her.    Lesley M. looses Sean to Kristy, but she steals him back to kiss him.  Then they proceed to make out a little bit.  My dorm is calling that a bad save.  He probably liked it, but I think it was weird. 

Kacie B and Sean sit down to chat.  She admits that they have done events together before.  She even tells him that she likes him.  He is excited that she is there.  She asks if he wants to move from friend zone to the possible girlfriend pile.  His face was not good.  I completely thought she was going home.  He did a very awkward save with a there is more we can get to know about to each other and we should explore.  Kacie is happy, and yet I am not sure she’ll make it very far.  At least she has some idea of who Sean actually is.   And if she says she’s falling for him, I won’t scream.

Catherine gave her entry for stupid comment: “I’m a vegan, but I like the beef.”  Sean is the beef and she just thought that he should hear it from her.

Selma likes how Sean says “My wife.”  Selma has too much blush.  Tierra is eating like it is going out of style.  She is also half off of the couch she is “sitting” on.  Tierra is here because Sean blew her away on Emily’s season.  This is hard for her, but she is perusing him because he’s awesome.  He says that he can see her genuine heart and he wants her to hang around.  Cra-cra feels a connection, maybe he’ll keep her around for forever.  Am I the only one who is picturing him locked in her cellar?  

Katie feels as uncomfortable as her giant hair.  She is grilling Kacie B. for information about how it was last time around.  Kacie B. is hoping that she’ll leave.  Sean and Katie are chatting.  I’m hoping he won’t talk her into staying.  Let big hair leave.  Wow.  He did not even try to have her stay.  Cue all the girls talking about how it was the right thing for Katie to leave and how if you aren’t here for Sean, then leave.  Kacie B. get’s the rose! Hurray!  She is my favorite right now… but not Tierra’s. 

Desiree gets the other one-on-one. 

Sean wants to pull a “somewhat innocent prank” on Desiree because he wants a girl that can laugh.  He thinks that making Desiree think that she broke an expensive piece of art will be funny.  He wants to see how she reacts in uncomfortable situations….on national television.  This is probably the best example I’ve ever had for guys and girls sense of humor being different.  I already feel bad for this girl.  Her date card even said “Love is priceless.”  Mean, mean prank.  Sean is doing this to someone that he described as sweet and personable.  Sean is feeling bad already and all I can say is GOOD.  Stupid boy.  Chris is super excited for this; he can’t stop grinning.  Sean is not looking quite so good.  Sean says that he is a bad person, Chris agrees, while smiling.  Chris is laughing like a little kid.  Sean leaves her alone and the artwork fell.  That poor girl.  The fake artist asks who is going to pay for this.  She should have said ABC!  Desiree handled it really well.  Sean was impressed.  *My dorm has been taking note of how Sean has been holding hands with the girls.  Desiree got the interlocking fingers, One-armed Sarah did not.* Sean takes Desiree back to his place to feed her steak and to chat.  Background time!  Cue everyone talking about their great parents and how they want love.  Sean likes her a lot.  They are holding hands on the couch.  *Desiree is winning in the hand holding department.  Every time they interlock fingers.* 

Sean keeps saying innocent things that are just not worded well. 

Example “I think she’s feeling me, and I’m feeling her.”  Meant innocently, sounds dirty. 

Sean is very patriotic with his swim trunks.  But they are really tight, which makes his innocent comment of “you’ve seen 100% of me” really awkward.

Desiree feels like they are boyfriend and girlfriend and Sean is already calling her “Dez.”  She may have just danced her way into first place.

Rose Ceremony!

There are people that I don’t even recognize that are bitching to the camera.  Lindsay, the substitute teacher or drunk bride from last week, is wearing a skunk for a dress.  A bedazzled skunk.  Apparently she was an army brat.  They are talking about their families and how they want to marry their best friend.  Blah, blah, blah.  I know that they need to get this info out of the way, but America is bored!  (Or at least this dorm lounge is). 

Sean doesn’t know what to do about liking many people.  He’s just so humble (which was last week’s favorite word.  Seriously, we started yelling at the TV every time Sean said he was humbled by this opportunity.)

Amanda the banana looks like she is going to start cutting people.  Everyone is confused by her and scarred of her.  “Tonight is a tornado of negativity, about to happen.” I missed who said that, but it will enter the stupid comment competition under anonymous blond girl.  Amanda the banana found coffee!  And for the first time ever, I have seen someone glare at the world while drinking coffee.  Usually coffee makes people happier, and I should know, I’m a barista. 

Sean is happy that the Robyn asks if he likes black chicks.  He says he doesn't have a type.  He said that it did not matter physically.  He’d be okay with dating Hispanic or Persian…neither of which are black… (Persian?  Really?  What makes you pick that as one of the two ethnicities that you name?)

Also, why are there no fat chicks?  Physical appearance doesn't matter?  Where are the chubby people?  Where are the cute, but not drop dead gorgeous girls?  Where are the glasses?

Amanda banana is brought back from the dead by the presence of Sean.  Interestingly enough, I did not recognize her until she started talking to Sean.  That’s how different she acted.  The girls are all against Banana Amanda and her horrifying rose-shaped cap sleeves.  Those cap sleeves are truly terrifying.  They look like they are trying eat her face. 

Ew. He kept Amanda banana and the scariest cap sleeves I have ever beheld. 

Brooke and Diana went home.  I don’t remember them at all.

Brooke says that love was "just not here."  Sean sent Diana home because he did not want to keep her away from her kids if he didn't see something long term.  That was very kind of him.  That slightly redeems him for the prank earlier in the night. 

Next week: We look forward to roller coasters, confetti in the air, longest on screen kiss, and making out with multiple people.  Also, Cra-cra may take a ride in an ambulance.

Until next time, Singing Barista

I've got some catching up to do....

Oh boy.  I feel awful.  There are so many things that I thought I would never do--on that list is forgetting my passions.  Writing and I grew distant.  I forgot the pleasure that it brought.  I did not make time for writing when I became busy, ergo, I haven't blogged in over a year.  Well that ends today.

For starters, I took a year off from school and did a great many things.  But in my more recent history, I have gone back to school.  It is a small Christian college in the middle of the US.  It is a good fit for now and I have learned many things about myself while being here.  However, the real reason of this post is to comment on something my sister is dying for me to analyze...Christian Mingle.  That's right, I actually signed up for a dating site.  While this may not seem that odd for the general populace, for me it is quite strange.  I have always thought (and still think) that dating sites are much too like auto sites....it's like shopping for all the features you want in a car...but it's PEOPLE.  Personally, I think it takes out the possibility for people to surprise you.  Then why am I on it? you may ask.  Great question.  I am on it because I was curious and a little bit bored.  

The day the world was supposed to end FX had genius programming.  That station played any end of the world movie they could find.  This drew my oldest sister and I into watching Armageddon, one of our favorite Bruce Willis movies.  Amidst the plethora of commercial breaks we saw numerous ads for Christian Mingle.  It was like the company wanted a new slogan, "The end of the world is near, so find your soul mate while you still can!"  Curiosity killed the cat, and it definitely got a hold of me.  I made a profile for a couple of reasons: 1- I wanted to see what you could ACTUALLY do on the site for free (hint: it is not very much) 2- I honestly wanted to know if anyone would like my profile (good news! a creep from the next town over does! Bad news, the cute European in my college town hasn't contacted me yet) 3- I wanted to see if I could find the profiles of a couple of guys from my high school on the site (Best news ever! I TOTALLY did)

In my perusal of the site I saw some very sad profiles and I would personally like to help anyone who is considering online dating.  Here is my list of things you should do/not do:

1. Be honest.  If you are taking this seriously, you have got to be open....and you need to actually fill out the profile.  You know it is so great that you liked my thoughtful answer to my favorite Bible passage, but I would really love to know more about you than your height and hair color.  I can't tell if I'm interested if your page is blank.  Fill it out.
2. Be realistic.  I'm sorry, but if you are not the hottest thing on the block, do not expect the "washboard" and "athletic" girls to be the top ones responding.  Best way to be attractive to a girl--do not say anything about a girl's weight...any girl.  You want a pretty, thin girl? Fine.  But do not label it that way on your profile...you seem rude and shallow.  Just stop.
3. Pick a good picture.  I'm not saying you should use photo shop and make yourself a hunk a hunk of burnin love.  I'm saying you should take a nice head shot.  Smile.  Wash your hair that day.  Wear a clean shirt.  DO NOT take a bathroom iphone picture like a punk!  Not attractive.  Delete that.

Well that is all I have for now.  I'm sure I'll be posting more later...it is my one and only new years resolution.

~The Singing Barista

NaNoWriMo

It's that time of year! National Novel Writing Month is just around the corner.  I just signed up...and you should too.   

J.K. Rowling, I apologize

This fall I have been trying to read a book every two weeks.  Early on in this endeavor, I decided to start reading the Harry Potter books.  I know, I'm a little late.  I also decided to read Twilight--worst idea EVER.  When Twilight first came out, I remember hearing people say that Stephanie Meyer was going to be the next J.K. Rowling.  I would like to state that these people were crazy, insane, and showed a lack of discernment that is frankly, frightening.  Rowling can WRITE.  She is very good at crafting her incredible imagination into phrases with nuances that I was impressed with.  Meyer...can't.  I am also quite certain that Meyer's editor should be ashamed of his or herself.  Bad...just bad. So, Ms. Rowling, I apologize for all the idiots out there who fouled your good name.

~The Singing Barista

Influences

I know I haven't written in forever, and I should warn you that my posts will fluctuate from few and far between to daily posts.  I don't have any of my own things ready to post yet, but I thought I would share some of my influences and things that I think are clever.  I just love the writing and creativity in these videos and I hope you will too.


This video is from the What You Ought to Know Site.  It talks about irony and how people misuse the word.  The other videos that these guys put out are worth watching as well and range from the best bicycle helmets to what women want.  I love the banter in the video and I hope you will too.


This video is how Lord of the Rings should have ended from the How it Should Have Ended website which is one of my favorites--I think it's hilarious.  I love checking to see if any movies I've seen have been revamped on this site.  The Twilight one is also worth checking out.


Well that's all for now.  
~The Singing  Barista

Introductions

After much deliberation, I have decided to make a blog; but not just any blog.  This one is special.  I am going to write about whatever, whenever and I will post some original works on here to get feedback or to just put it out there.  Although I sing while I make people coffee, I also love reading and writing.  This will be my anonymous forum.  I hope you like it, because I am super excited:)

~The Singing Barista