Monday, June 16, 2014

Andi week 4...but technically week 5

Andi Week Too Many To Count

ABC is promising me boat loads of drama…but so far they haven’t delivered.  It better all come up tonight ABC, cause I’m getting bored.  Angel Eric is gone and Marquel doesn't get enough screen time.   My interest is waning while my annoyance with Andi is waxing.  That’s right I’m going lunar calendar on this.

Josh is super excited for his date card even though he can’t read a word beyond their respective names. Ironically Andi doesn't even speak French so we know Andi copied that card verbatim from some ABC lackey.  

Chris Harrison is coming to talk to Andi in all his turtleneck glory.  It would look so much better without the jacket.  The patterns do not match.  Chris calls Andi out on falling for more than one guy….perchance all the ones she has made out with??

Andi is SOO EXCITED to go on a date with Josh.  She has something so exciting planned for him today! My guess is a make out session…and it is!  Andi wants to dig deeper.  Josh better watch what he says…we all know what happens if you are too honest with her…you get sent home in a flurry of crazy childlike tantrums.  EW! FREAKING SHUT OFF THE MICS WHEN THEY ARE MAKING OUT!  Josh and Andi went on a boat ride and are now sitting on some “great rocks that overlook the Mediterranean Sea.  It’s a great place to get to know each other better.”  ….you are literally sitting on a bench.  How is this so much better than anywhere else?  Andi has got a mouth on her…ABC has already bleeped her multiple times.  I love that Andi’s irrational reaction to fear is to shut the guys out and not explain anything.  Then it is super easy to send them home and say that you have no connection.  Honey if you shut the valve off on the flow of communication of course it won’t work.  You are starving the relationship before it can even start. 
Wow.  I did not call JJ being such an instigator.  Did Andrew like insult JJ’s bow tie the first night?  Why is he out to start fights through other people?  Poor Marquel.  He deserves better than this.

Josh and Andi are talking about the way that they were both cheated on and he gets a rose.  She likes that Josh got her to put her guard down.  She prejudged him and she was wrong.  Too bad she couldn't see that with Angel Eric….
AND the private concerts are back.  Apparently helicopters will not be making a comeback this year.  Private concerts for the win. Seriously I don’t need sound effects for their make out sessions.   

Hahaha Andi sent a blank card to the guys for the group date.  Their perplexed faces were totally worth it.  Andi is taking the guys miming.  She says that it will help them with relationships.  How??? Haha one of the girls says it’s because she doesn't know how to communicate.  YES! Andi says that there is no better way to communicate than nonverbal….well that would be accurate to her life…

I bet Marquel is going to be great at this.  The guys practice for a while and are somehow shocked that they will have to perform “in front of all of France!” Andi, honey, you know they won’t be in front of the entire country of France.  Your hyperbole is not amusing.  All the guys give it a go, except for Nick, and Marquel is adorable and definitely the best (called it).

Oh Good! This is where all the fighting should happen—the lighting looks just right for drama. 
JJ takes Andi to a Ferris wheel because what better way to get to know each other? But back at the cocktail party there is drama afoot.  Cody basically calls Nick out as portraying himself as arrogant and above everyone else.  I am surprised at how many guys jumped onto that bandwagon.  Cody, with a plunging v, is jumping down Nick’s throat…almost as deep as his v…  Cody is such a Vienna. 

After forcing Chris to talk about the drama she felt in the room and talking to Cody, Andi confronts Nick.  He doesn't want to talk about it really but she says, “If I was your wife would you tell me?” FREAKING WHAT?!?! Talk about manipulative!! She tells Nick that she can feel when drama happens, she’s not stupid…..eeeehhhhhh.  She is questioning everything! What if she doesn't really know the real Nick?!?! Oh well, she’ll just kiss him. 

Meanwhile Marquel confronts Andrew in the best fashion I have ever seen.  He did it in front of the guys because he wanted his stance on race to be known.  He told the others not to join in.  He said his peace, listened to Andrew, said he why he did it in front of everyone and walked away.  Even Andrew’s bromance buddy Patrick said that Marquel handled it the best.
Andrew just freaking tried to throw Marquel under the bus.  You leave him alone!

JJ gets the rose…wow that little instigator has definitely flown under the radar as a source of trouble.  I don’t’ think the guys even know that he is behind most of the drama.

Andi is excited to go on a date with Brian after the drama of the night before.  Everything is going great until Andi’s ridiculous expectations aren't met and she reads into everything in the worst possible way.  Brian cannot cook and he told her this.  One would think that a guy might be less affectionate when he feels really out of his element and insecure because a rose is on the line.  However, Andi is wondering if this means the end of them.  Brian knows that the pressure is on.  He understands that he needs to be really forward. Brian steps up just starts kissing Andi and gets a rose for his efforts.

Basically what we are gleaning from this is that if the guys are not actively trying to make out with Andi all the time that means that they don’t want her….well, she is all about nonverbal communication….

Andi decides to cancel the cocktail party and just have a rose ceremony and she is planning on sending 3 guys home.  Patrick is giving these sage words about how you need to value every minute they have with her---you haven’t had any...why are you giving sage words?

Andi looks like she is channeling Elsa and those relationships that aren't working she is just going to “let it go.”

Marcus gets a rose.  Nick gets a rose.  Chris gets a rose.  Dylan gets a rose.  Cody got the final rose! What? Marquel totally deserved that one.  Well…at least both parts of the bromance will get to leave at the same time.  It will be interesting to see how this all plays out at the men tell all when Andrew will see that JJ was behind it all. 
Marquel! You are precious!


ANDI IS FREAKING MAKING THEM TAKE LIE DETECTOR TESTS! She is going to give me an aneurysm.  My brain is going to pop.  Watching this show is turning into a cross between What Not To Wear and the Bachelor.  Seriously, anything that Andi does should not be repeated. Ever.  She is the ice queen and the master of manipulation.  She does not listen to the guys and doesn't trust a word they say.  Awesome.  This is going to be great for ratings because her crazy pants antics will lead to a full blown meltdown.  Marquel, be glad you got out when you could.  

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